May 2002
03 | 07 | 09 | 10 | 13 | 14 | 15
Monday 20
motivation returns!
And about time too. I came into work today in a refreshingly positive frame of mind and plunged straight into working on the redesign, without even pausing to check my email. At last the dread May apathy seems to have abated. Perhaps I might even start getting ideas again soon.
zebra face
At the weekend we drove up to Sheffield to see my cousin Alex, his partner Charlotte and their daughter Amber. Alex complained of the same apathy that I have been feeling; maybe it is an Abel thing? He then told me of his friend Ed, who is his age (23) but has already set up a record company, released a record, done a comic book (the ace Zebra Face), and is known to the world as ace graffiti artist Kid Acne.
theabelmethod
We agreed that we are a pair of lazy, underachieving so-and-sos (although Alex at least has the fairly good excuse of a young daughter to bring up) and vowed to collaborate together on some artistic projects. We might even form a creative partnership and become the latest hot thing in advertising. If we can be arsed…watch this space.
Sheffield
I like Sheffield; it has topography, a feature sorely lacking in Cambridge. I look forward to biking there later in the summer.
Star Wars
Can I just say that I have absolutely no interest in watching the new Star Wars movie? Thanks.
Uptime Boy
up 11 days, 20:21, 2 users, load averages: 0.45, 0.47, 0.44. I love OS X. ;o)
Wednesday 15
Herodotus
“The Scythians then take the seeds of this hemp and, creeping under the mats, they throw them on the red hot stones; and, being so thrown, they smolder and send forth so much steam that no Greek vapor bath could surpass it. The Scythians howl in their joy at their vapor-bath. This serves them instead of bathing, for they never wash their bodies with water.”
Bong Science
I’ve often wished there were a more healthy and efficient way of getting stoned (purely medicinally, of course. I don’t enjoy it) than smoking cannabis. Of course, silly me, vaporization is the answer, as Herodotus well knew in the 5th century BC. Modern day equivalent: Vrip it. Effective THC administration without all the nasty particulates, benzene, napthalene, etc. Check out MAPS for more highly scientific-type information.
This has been a public service announcement. Right, I’m off to the hardware store…
Tuesday 14
Malaise
I really hope that my current apathetic malaise is coming to an end. Apathetic specifically with regard to web design in particular and computers in general. I guess it is a cyclical thing which most computer folk go through, but for the last month or more I have had close to zero interest in or enthusiasm for this whole interweb/glowing screen/hunched in an office chair for eight hours a day malarkey. Which is a bit of a problem when it is my chosen career. Jobs eh? Who needs them? I’d get a lot more done if I didn’t have a job. Just some magical source of income. Which is not to say that I am not fully aware that I actually have a very lovely and cushy job, all things considered. However, what I really want is to be an…ENTREPRENEUR!
In other areas of my life I have been anything but apathetic, in fact bordering on the tiresomely obsessive. My twin obsessions currently are bikes, and opening a cannabis cafe:
Bikes!
Every now and then I remember how much I love bicycles. As a child, by far my most exciting times were getting my first two wheel bicycle (even though the trikes were pretty fly), and the day I rode it down the yard without stabilizers for the first time. Ach, I get a lump in my throat now, remembering it! Then, a bit later, me and my friend Michael Frary would spend days riding around Wells, two abreast, humming the theme music to CHiPs. [He would always insist on being Ponch, which was annoying, as who wants to be Larry?]
Chopper
And then, in a seminal moment in bicycling history, the Raleigh Chopper became the must-have bike, with good reason. What young boy worth his salt couldn’t wait to stack badly and mash his ‘nads on the ergonomically questionable Sturmey-Archer three-speed? I know I did. Sadly, however, we were poor and thus couldn’t afford a real Chopper, so I had to make do with a knock-off called a ‘Setter’ which came from the Cash & Carry my Gran worked in. This bike was perfectly satisfactory until the day I was zooming down a hill in Hunstanton and tried to pop a wheelie. Imagine my surprise when the entire front fork assembly fell out of the headset, scattering bearings and me across the road. Miraculously I was largely unscathed –I seem to have a talent for avoiding serious injury despite many spectacular crashes.
The Bullet (#1)
After the Setter followed a period of bikelessness, which after an aeon came to an end when I was allowed to choose a *five speed racer* from the Littlewoods catalogue. It was a BSA Bullet, it was black, it was beautiful. It was also made from scaffold (or spare rifle barrels, or something) and weighed about 40 pounds. But I loved it! And then it got stolen!! My first encounter with that lowest of scumbags the bike thief. (I had left it outside the back of the house, unlocked. Nobody locked bikes in Norfolk in 1978). But a few weeks later the Police found it!!! (Some villainous youth had nicked it and ridden home to Kings Lynn, some 16 miles away, which seemed an incredible feat. I remain amazed that the Police managed to recover it).
Post Office Bike, Rockhopper
Eventually I outgrew the Bullet, and there followed another period of bikeless wilderness. For a while I rode my dad’s Post Office bike, complete with integrated front parcel rack, which was very handy for giving pals joyrides, but not so good for hucking big air in the Pinewoods. That was why eventually I had to get my first bona-fide Mountain Bike. It was a few years into the Mountain Bike ‘craze’ before I owned one, but during my first year at University I was the proud owner of a beautiful, dark purple Specialized Rockhopper, bought with a student loan which I really should have used for food, clothing etc. Yeah, right. My friend in Wells, Jo, also bought a bike, and we spent many fun afternoons caning around in the Pinewoods, where I learned how to fall off a bike, spectacularly, without killing myself. My judo skills really came in handy there. I also learned that I love riding around in the woods more than any other kind of biking – the sun dappling through the trees, the piny resinous tang of the air, the hidden roots waiting to trip me up. bliss.
I was at Lancaster University, which was very convenient for lots of great offroad riding, including the Lakes, the Forest of Bowland and more. In that one year I think I went actual mountain biking exactly once. What a damn fool. At the end of the year I was badly skint, and sold my Rockhopper to my friend Jo, who had her Trek nicked from College. Bikeless again. Oh, the humanity!
Lava Domes, 1, 2, 3…
After college I moved to Cambridge, most assuredly not a mountain biking mecca, where I got a very poorly paying job at Waterstone’s, and immediately went out and bought a beautiful emerald green Kona Lava Dome, which cost me one sixth of my wages per month, for six months, and was worth every penny. Almost every day for the first few months I would come home from work, invariably pissed-off with my crappy job, change into my cycling shorts, fill a bottle with energy drink, and go for a 25-mile bike ride, from which I would always return in a much improved frame of mind, and eat a lovely big bowl of pasta. That was a great summer. One day I went for a heroic ride I what turned out to be the hottest day in ten years. It was great! But after a while I realised the inevitable truth…biking in Cambridge is very dull. There are only so many times one can ride down the Roman Road before its glamour wears off.
After having the Lava Dome for about three months it got stolen. Of course it did. So much for D-locks. Miraculously I actually had insurance, so I headed off to Ben Haywards (a lovely, friendly bike shop) and got a replacement Lava Dome, the next year’s model and blue, not quite as beautiful as ‘Jezebel’ (as my girlfriend at the time named the green bike, in a fit of mock-jealousy). But something had changed in me, I had become somewhat embittered with the theft, a fact which was compounded by getting the wheels of my new bike stolen from right outside my office, in broad daylight, on a busy street. (which was nearly as amazing as the guy who tried to nick my bike one Boxing Day by running off with it from outside the cafe I was in. I was watching my bike as I was by now quite paranoid – when I caught him he was about to put it in his car, but he heard me coming and left it leaning against the wall, all casual like. To this day I am amazed I didn’t punch him on the nose, and I wish I had. Instead I just memorized his registration number and reported him to the police, who of course did jack shit. But I digress.
So my second, wheelless Lava Dome sat neglected and rusting for many months, until eventually I sold the frame. Why bother? There was nowhere interesting to ride anyway. Bah humbug.
Last summer I eventually succumbed to bike lust again, and bought my third (and final, now that Kona have ‘gone Halfords’) Lava Dome, which has a suspension fork (wooh!) and is black with luminous decals 9as naff as it sounds). So far none of it has been stolen, which is nice. And now I have passed my driving test and we have a car, which means at last we have access to non-tedious biking terrain (Adrienne and I have a joke that we should write a book entitled “Twenty Tedious East Anglian Bike Rides”).
From Bullet to Bullit? Maybe, just maybe…
So this summer, at last, I can get into serious mountain biking. Huzzah! Of course, I have decided that my Lava Dome will be woefully inadequate once my skill level soars upwards, technology has moved on massively in the lat few years, and all the cool kids are riding full-suspension, disc-brake equipped loveliness. Naturally, I will have to get myself a Santa Cruz Bullit freeride beast, if it is remotely possible to do so without, you know, D.I.V.O.R.C.E. Heh. Ah yes, the bug has bitten once again, and how! Can’t wait to get out into those woods and zoom down the singletrack without a thought in my pretty little head…
Monday 13
Test the Nation
Want to test your IQ? I scored a frankly disappointing 124, which is a decline of 26 points since I last did a test in my A-level Psychology class, and means I am no longer a ‘genius’. Bummer. The usual caveats about IQ tests being a bunch of arse apply. Not that I’m bitter.
Friday 10
Blues Clues Rocks!
Steve Burns, perenially jovial boy-man host of Blues Clues, cult Nickleodeon TV show for tots whcih you have probably never heard of it you are British, has made an album with the drummer from Flaming Lips and Dave Fridmann who used to be in Mercury Rev back when they were the best band in the Universe. (Not that they aren’t jolly good now, I just kinda preferred them when they were a massively loud, shambolic and quasi-psychotic ramshackle lurching beast with a big fat singer who would wander into the crowd in the middle of a song and they would smash up pianos with hammers, and have little tiny children dancing on stage in bumble bee costumes in the middle of the maelstrom). Anyway, it features songs about superstrings, nanobots, and love, and judging from the clips is going to be very good. How odd.
Flaming Lips also have a new album out soon: Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, and are touring the UK in July. They are brilliant live and you should go and see them. And wooh! They are playing Cambridge Corn Exchange! And Bob Mould is supporting!
Lead singer Wayne Coyne looks disconcertingly like my friend Ben (band site here) , they even have similar Pea Coats.
Bald! Beard!
There is no avoiding it, I am going bald. Ho hum. Never mind. However, in order to maintain a roughly equivalent amount of hair on my head I am growing a beard. A proper one, you betcha, not a poncy goatee. And you know what? I like it, it looks cool. Beards are going to be ‘in’ this summer, I have decided, arbitrarily.
SMiLE!
Would you like all of the legendary ‘lost’ Beach Boys album SMiLE in lovely high-quality MP3? Of course you would. I.R. a happy bunny!
Shiny
Is it just me, or does Sven-Goran Eriksson have ane exceptionally shiny face? Don’t expect me to say anything sensible about his squad selection.
Snapz
Snapz Pro X is really most excellent. It can even capture Quicktime from DVD, as long as you have an nVidia graphics card. Rah! Well, having testing that claim it actually goes rather glitchy, but still, jolly impressive.
Thursday 09
game on
Halo having reignited my joy and interest in videogaming (and how!) I am very much looking forward to the Game On exhibition running at the Barbican from 15 May. I just hope they have a working Robotron 2084 cabinet.
the twisted brain-wrong of a one-off man-mental
Received my Brass Eye DVD this morning. Brilliant. Go and buy it immediately. I know Chris Morris’ auntie, you know…
slacker
If I say so myself, I am being a bit of a lazy so-and-so this week. Just can’t quite get myself motivated to concentrate on work. Instead I have been thinking about…
bikes
Should I get an Ellsworth Truth? Or a Rocky Mountain Slayer? Or maybe a Cannondale Gemini? Or perhaps I should stick with my trusty Lava Dome. [Of course, this is all purely hypothetical, yunnerstand?] I’m leaning toward the Slayer, if only it is because it is from Vancouver, just like my lovely wife. And Wade Simmons ride Rocky Mountain, and he is God.
bikeshop websites
Are invariably crap. Which seems an obvious…
business opportunity
Why, I should really specialise in designing websites for bike shops. Now all I need is a decent company name. Gnnn…
Tuesday 07
bugger
Due to an imbecilic slipup, I appear to have copied over all of April’s blog entry. Good job it was an unevenetful month, eh readers? Actually, according to my logs, hardly anyone bothers reading this anyway, must just be friends and family members I think. Nevermind, it is mainly a self-indulgent personal diary, so I will contiune plugging away in the void. On second thoughts, maybe I can’t be bothered any more. Goodbye for a while.
we the freed
An interesting and enjoyable weekend. Participated in the ‘Legalise Cannabis’ march in London on saturday, which was relaxed, friendly and mellow, for some reason. many folk waved their bongs from their flat windows in approval, small angelic children shouted ‘Free The Weed’ from atop their grandmother’s shoulders, the sun shone beatifically down on us.
Played hacky-sack in Brockwell Park with Chris until we were joined by a French-German fellow called Robert who was insanely good, at which point we just watched him doing his stuff –Chris filmed some of it and I might put a quicktime up soon. He really was very, very good indeed. Also, got high, walked a lot, decided I am rather excited about moving to London this summer. Ten years of Cambridge is about enough.
On Sunday we were back in London again, this time for an artists’ party in Hackney. Foolishly I elected to drive down, and found the whole experience pretty stressful. I only hope that I will toughen up quickly when we are living there and will find myself also driving aggresively, ignoring road etiquette, leaning on my horn after the slightest hindrance to my progress, &c. Spent the party sober (driving) which was a first for me. The artists all got fairly drunk. Some of them were even smoking Sobranie Cocktails, so bohemian was the affair. I like most of the artists, not afraid to let it all hang out.
We also checked out Manor House, where is we will be living. S’okay, and is home to Britain’s best indoor climbing wall, which might persuade me to dust off my climbing boots.
baa lambs
Yesterday we went to Wimpole Hall, and saw many lambs gambolling merrily in the fields. I fully intend to get out into the countryside as many weekends as is possible this summer. It is just what I need to counterbalance my increasing fear of becoming a computer-addled cyborg. The bumpkin in me lives on. There is more to life than all this interweb malarkey, eh?
Friday 03
Hello, my name is Rik and I am a Halo junkie
Since Chris bought his Xbox at the weekend I have played Halo for only about 6 hours (two three hour sessions) but it is already my all-time favourite video game by far. I mean, I thought Grand Theft Auto 3 was good, what with getting to beat random strangers to death with a baseball bat and all, but Halo is just so fricken awesome that it takes my breath away. The graphics, the sound design, the architecture, but most of all the AI of the alien baddies is all simply amazing. And we are only playing on Normal difficulty. Games are starting to be as good as I dreamed they might one day be, as a teenager playing Chuckie Egg in my Computers Studies class. Smashing!
I even forgive Bungie for abandoning their roots and moving to the dark side. Bill Gates should get down on his knees and kiss their feet. All of them.
I also forgive Bungie for ripping off Iain M. Banks.
Ratbots
They love it, you know.